Saying Goodbye to a Dear Friend.

There is some news that when you hear it, it hits you like a ton of bricks, a piano  and a wrecking ball all rolled into one huge terrible thing, and you don't want to believe it. You don't want to know that what you've heard is actually the truth. There is news so terrible that when you hear it, all you want to do is curl up into a ball and ignore that anything like that could have possible happened.  On 8 September 2014, just 12 days ago really, I received news I never expected. A very dear friend of mine, a girl I met my senior year of university, expectantly passed away. Erica was gone.

I met Erica the first week of her freshman year at Freed-Hardeman University, my senior year. She lived catty corner from me in Bradfield Hall. My roommate Amber and I were in room 105, Erica in 104. Erica and I bonded fairly quickly when we learned just how much the other loved musical theater. Erica already knew she wanted to major in Music and I was stubbornly sticking to History. Erica told me all about Lycans and showed me the board she used to post on about Lycans and Vampires way before they became "cool" again. She became so much more than just a friend, she became a little sister. It seemed completely natural for us to find a duet to sing for my final recital at FHU. We chose to sing For Good from the new musical Wicked. (At the time we choose to sing it, Wicked had only been out for a little less than 2 years.) Erica would sing Glinda's part and I was singing Elphaba's. We had found out early in the year how well our voices would blend with a silly song from Disney's Out of the Box called Until We Meet Again,  and knew we could sing For Good together.

On the day of our recital, Erica and I were the last ones to perform, which can be extremely nerve wracking, but we were excited. After I sang my solo, which I can't remember what it was at this time, Erica joined me and we sang. We sang like we were really Glinda and Elphaba, pink bubble and green skin. We sang that song like Witches who would always cherish the memories created with one another. We sang that song like sisters who knew we wouldn't see each other again. After we finished singing and our voice teacher dismissed everyone, we immediately turned around and started crying. All of the emotions we were desperately trying to hold in while we were singing, unleashed and all we could do was cry.

When I heard that Erica was gone, that Erica had died, all I could do was cry. I was sitting at my computer at work on a break, checking my Facebook news feed, and I saw the message from Erica's mom. My heart stopped for a moment. My breath caught in my lungs and I couldn't breathe. The only thought going through my head was "No! No! No!" I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was true.

My heart is heavy and some days are even harder than others, but Erica wouldn't want me to be sad. She is in Heaven singing praises to our Father with the angels. I know that one day I will see Erica again and our voices will blend as we sing praises to the King.

"It well may be, that we will never meet again, in this lifetime. 

So let me say before we part

So much of me is made of what I learned from you.

You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart.

And now whatever way our stories end,

I know you have rewritten mine,

by being my friend. . ."

--from Wicked the Musical