;

Everyday for almost 6 months, I have drawn this semicolon on my wrist or my forearm. Some of you have asked me about it, others I'm sure have wondered but didn't want to ask. I have always been an anxious person, sometime I'm able to hide it, sometimes, there is no hiding it for anything. Within these last few months, my anxiety attacks have become more frequent (for obvious reasons) and overwhelming. When I look at my wrist and see the semicolon, it reminds me to pause, to take another breath, that I'm still here, my story is still being written. Drawing the semicolon each day is a way for me to take control of my anxiety, a way to decide every day that I'm not going to let my anxiety win.

"A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.” Project Semicolon

When I posted the picture and the worlds above to my personal Facebook page yesterday, I didn't realize just how raw letting others know my struggles would be for me. Posting about my semicolon left me feeling raw and a little anxious. I'm not sure what made me finally address my semicolon in such a public forum, but I'm glad I did. I am thinking about getting the semicolon as a tattoo, but I'm not sure. Right now, drawing the semicolon has become part of my daily routine; I'm not ready to give that up. By drawing the semicolon each day, I promise myself that I'm not going to give up.

A Little bit of Growth, a little bit of Healing, a whole lot of Faith.

Back in October (the 16th-18th), I had the opportunity to go away on a spiritual retreat with about 50 other members of my church family. Each October, we have what we call our Spiritual Enrichment Weekend (SEW) at Central Florida Bible Camp-- my favorite place on this planet. However, getting on the bus to go was really difficult. Daddy loved going away for SEW and this was the first year without him. I remember calling my mom from the church parking lot telling her I didn't want to go. I couldn't make myself get on that bus. Mom told me to get on the bus and enjoy myself and I'm really glad I did.
I can't count the times I started crying that weekend. There were moments when I would be okay and then moments where all I could do was cry. We sang some of Daddy's favorite songs and I was holding it together until someone looked at me and  I lost it.
All weekend, people would come up to me and tell me stories about Dad and favorite memories. I loved every moment. Hearing how much others loved Dad comforted me in a way I didn't think was possible. One of the gentlemen during his devotional talk read a passage, then he spoke for a moment, looked at me and re-read the passage substituting Daddy;s name for the one in the passage.

Colossians 4:7-8 "Tychicus will tell you all about my activities. He is a beloved brother and faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. 8I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are and that he may encourage your hearts." G.S. re-read the verse with "Gene Puckett is a beloved brother and faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. I have sent Gene Puckett to you for this very purpose. . . that Gene Puckett may encourage your hearts." 

He talked about how much Daddy was an encouragement to not only him, but everyone in our congregation. OF course,  I cried like a baby, but the sad tears were mingled in with the happy. On Sunday morning, I walked down to one of Daddy's favorite spots on campus, the dock, and sat down, turned on one of Daddy's lessons and listened to his voice. That moment on the dock looking over the water and listening to Daddy's voice was the closest I had been to one of his bear hugs since June 15th.  While listening to Daddy's lesson, I heard his voice say, 

"I am not living this Christian life so I can worry about dying. I'm living this Christian life looking forward to when I can leave this earth. . . If you are alive when I die, . . . Rejoice, be glad because I've finally done something I really wanted to do."

Years before he died, Daddy told me exactly what he wanted me to do. Rejoice and be glad. Daddy is where he has always wanted to be, His largest goal has been achieved. 
I am so glad I chose to get on that bus to SEW. 

Life will never be the same

Three months ago, my life changed completely. The most important person in my life passed away in the early hours of June 18th. My daddy was gone. Life has been chaotic since Daddy passed away. There are times when I feel my world is crumbling and I can't stop it. Then there are times when I am filled with peace knowing my Dad lived a Christian Life. My Dad was a Christian and he is where he has always wanted to be.

My Daddy was the most important person in my life. He was my rock and always had my back. Daddy was the one who always encouraged me to follow my dreams, but didn't hesitate to let me know if I was doing something wrong. Some of my most precious memories involve my dad in some way. 

His death was so unexpected. Sunday he was fine. Monday, he had to have an emergency procedure done to remove the clot his fistula (for dialysis). Tuesday he felt awful so  I took him to the closet ER around noon. He was quickly admitted to ICU. Wednesday, he spent most of the day unconscious and by Thursday morning at 2:48, Daddy was gone. Less than 48 hours after being checked into the hospital, he was killed by a heart attack. Mom and I are pretty sure one of the clots from the fistula made its way to his heart. 

In the days after Daddy passed away, so many of our friends and fellow Christians shared funny stories or special memories and thoughts about Dad and it was such a comfort to me. I still have every text message and email from that day. One day I will share them with you. One thing I will share is this beautiful bracelet a friend of mine had made.

A really good friend of mine asked me for something that Daddy wrote to me in his handwriting. I handed her a picture of  an appreciagram (a note of appreciation that our church had created) that Dad wrote me years ago. A week ago, she handed me this beautiful bracelet with Daddy's words reminding me that he loves me. This bracelet is the most precious thing anyone has ever given me.

That's what's been going on in my life lately. While things have been a bit chaotic and I've been on an emotional roller coaster, I'm going to leave you with a verse that means a lot to me.

"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:10

No matter how weak I feel right now, I am strong in the LORD.

  

Bloggiesta! Spring 2015

I absolutely love when bloggiesta rolls around! During the last mini-bloggiesta I didn't really complete everything I was  thinking about doing. So of course, I added even more to do this time. I couldn't help it, everything looked so amazing!
The mini challenges I am going to attempt to complete are all ones I think will be a great fit to help me on my other blog Amber's Teen Reads:

• Create a blogging schedule
• create a treasure trove of blogging ideas
• Pin author interviews 
• Eight not to be missed Podcasts
• Diversity Reading GOals
• How to Make Memes
• Create a Blog Style Guide

I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself this time, but I'm really excited about everything!!!

See ya later,

AmberD.

Learning a new trick-- Piktochart! (Bloggiesta mini Challenge #1)

As I mentioned earlier, I am participating in Bloggiesta and one of the mini challenges is to  create a piktochart. The process was much easier than I thought it would be and a lot of fun. I had a blast picking the icons and personal pictures I wanted to use and love that I could add links to some of the icons.

Such fun!

Participating in Bloggiesta

I love Bloggiesta. I've participated once before and learned how to do some pretty cool things for blogging. A mini session of bloggiesta is starting today and I am finally able to participate again. The first task is to come up with a List of things I hope to accomplish during the weekends Bloggiesta.

My list is:

1. Do at least 2 mini challenges
2. Complete at least 1 blog post to each of my blogs
3. Clean up labels and tags for existing blog posts
4. Check links that have been posted to make sure they are still working
5. Change the design on one of my blogs.

My main posts about Bloggiesta will be on this blog, but if I complete a challenge or cross an item of my to-do-list using one of my other blogs, I will link to the post on this one as well. I hope that is as clear as mud for you too. LOL. See you at the end of this journey!